Search

Haste Makes Waste

shelbypayne
Jul 13, 2013
4 min read

[ Haste makes waste // A side note ]

"Slow down, slow down! You do not need to be that close to that car… Chill out."

"Whats the problem? It's fine."

"The problem is, you are going too fast. you are going 10 over the speed limit. And why? To get to where we are going 30 seconds earlier? I don't understand why you are always in a hurry to be places… just, why?! "

I do not think I have ever been called out for my anxiety and general worry for lack of time, until one spring day when Drew decided to comment on my fast paced driving. I say its efficient, he says its ridiculous. Which I can not help but agree with- at least a tiny bit… When I was a freshman, I had a senior guy joke with me at school that I was an "olympic walker" so fast, I flew by. Ah, a senior guy noticed me, how great! But how pathetic I was noticed for my haste.. My eagerness to zoom through the pods and get to my next class. To be early? Nope. To impress my teacher? not quite. I could never put a hold on why.

As I look back at the many years I have lived, I now can grasp why. Im scared for a lack of time. It is not that I want more time given to me, I am just worried it will never be enough. Which is the silliest thing, because in the midst of this empty worry, I am loosing precious moments that I could hold tight.

Mark Buchanan says " I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away." Yes. I am tossing moments aside. The moment when you hurry down a street and pass a beautiful mural, the time you rush through a test and unknowingly miss the easiest question because you read it wrong, when you cut someone's sentence off because you had something better to say, but they were about to tell you a valued secret. The list can go on, and on, and on.

When I reflect on the past week of my trip, I am gently slapping myself for I have not truly embraced every moment to its capacity. We walk to work at a brisk pace and even remarked "Lets walk faster, so we can get there faster" The concept is decent. But the execution is poor. For when we speed to work we are missing many beautiful moments that we could possibly grasp if we took an extra few minutes to observe our exotic surroundings. Not saying we do not embrace anything, for I believe we are overwhelmed at times with the land we are currently in. But, we can do

I was adventuring off for my very first time alone tonight. I searched for a Yoga studio I found online, in hopes of taking a class or two. To little knowledge of my own, the driver took me to the wrong place. Sigh. After 45 minutes of pacing around asking natives where I can find the studio, I saw a gelato stand. YAY. My favorite, sugar. I stopped and grabbed a scoop and thought to myself "Well, this makes my situation a bit better". I have been reading One Thousand Gifts, and Ann talks about how life should be a dessert. It should be savored and enjoyed. Indeed it should. As I slowly lick away the gelato on the waffle cone, I hold tight to this truth "life should be savored" I slow my roll and in the midst of my panic and anxiety and the thought that I have absolutely no idea where I am, I savor life. I stand still. It is hard- Really hard. I want to run around the village a

I calmly walk up to a little girl who I caught smiling at me from across the way. I ask her to help me and she nods her petite head and gestures for me to follow her lead. She brings me to a rickshaw and smiles again. I think she saw my tired face and knew I was lost, and wanted to go home. Not exactly where I want to go at the time, but it works for now. This sweet moment occurred all because I stood still and savored my situation for a moment. God even commands us to "Be still, and know that I am God" (psalm 46:10) But how often do we believe that we are in complete control of our crazy lives?

This unique experience in India is brief and slipping before my eyes, for in one week it will be in the past. One of my favorite lyrics reads:

"I will love with urgency but not with haste"

I'm currently challenging myself to seek every opportunity and reach out to every hand in need, to savor the tiny moments that hide in the shadows, to be present and to slow down my fleeting life. To love as much as I can with the time I have been given.