India // Wednesday

I awoke at 5 am again. Sigh. I had my first sign of home sickness as I was stirring around in my warm bed. Realizing everyone back home was up and going about their normal day as I lay quiet in this foreign land was a weird feeling. Almost a feeling of jealousy that I could not partake with them. However, that feeling started to fade away as I got up and glanced around, then realized I am really living my dream. My precious dream of 5 years: To go to India and straightforwardly "help people". My initial though was to come here and rescue women and children from sex trafficking. However, the various programs I looked into only had opening for 6 weeks or 3 month programs. A little long for me, unfortunately.

The biggest Red Light district in Delhi is a brief 30 minute drive away, on Garstin Bastion road. Mumbai, is a hub for sex trafficing. It is considered to be one of the largest red light districts in Asia. The concept of sex/human trafficking is utterly heart breaking. 'The women and children are pushed into the trade at a young age, at times even before they attain puberty. Therefore, not aware of the trap they are falling into. Once in the trade, there is no escape till the brothel keeper has earned well enough money through them. Here they are subjected to physical and mental torture if they refuse to abide by the wishes of the keeper. As most women have no formal education, they have no knowledge of how much they earn.'

But I am fulfilled knowing that by empowering the women I surround myself with, and by teaching english to these young girls, I am helping them become strong and independent women who can resist the temptation of brothels and the money they bring. I have always been a fan of preventative measures!

I quickly turned on The Lumineers. If you know me, I love my music. The music is streaming and my heart is calming. If you know me, I love my music. All genres. But- The Lumineers hold a special place in my music world. It's those tunes that I can listen to during any part of the day, yet feel wonderful and joyous. They are empowering and soothing. What would I have done if Gunnar did not introduce me to them long ago?

After our breakfast consisting of creamy porridge and luke warm roti, Annie and I threw down the lesson books and began collaborating on what our lesson plan would look like. And by collaborating I mean screams of- "WHAT! I do not understand english at all. but I really do.. I don't know why it is what it is, but it just is." Dang, this was harder than we thought. How can we communicate these "simple" rules and ideas that we both grew up knowing our whole lives? But hey, challenge accepted. We walked anxiously to the center and I silently prayed that God would give me immense grace as I attempt to give a vocabulary lesson on the tiny chalk board.

"Namaste, Students! todays lesson is on 'Useful things you use at school"

Attempted drawings of rulers, pencils, computers, and notebooks filled the board. I told myself "Maybe I should make this an art lesson and just tell them how to draw figures...."

I scratched that idea quick. I suck at drawing.

When Annie started her lesson, I wandered the mats and found some girls giggling at me and quickly speaking hindi. The language barrier is a constant struggle. The point to my hand and say "Paint!!!" Uhh, I think that means they want me to sit down. I take a seat and a sari covered woman grabs my hand and plops it on her knee. I point to the light pink- but she grabs the dark red. Well sure, I suppose i'll take it. With my new glossy nails I feel like a star walking back to our corner. "oooh ahhhh paint!" say the little girls.

After our lunch of garlic naan and curry, we saunter back to the center and prepare for the second session. This is my favorite, for there are two groups of learners. 1st group is made up of: Padmini, Grishma, Shabana, Chintu, and a few others with tough names. This half are very eager to learn and soo kind and loving. reticent smiles cover their faces. 2nd group is: Nintu, Gora, and a few more. They like to do their own thing and do not engage- what so ever. These girls are also 19. They snickered when I told them I was almost 20.... Awesome.

We teach them the same lesson, but they have progressed at a slower pace so I dumb it down a bit. We also discuss pronouns, past, present, and future verbs. They are the ones that believe they are "intelligent." I adore their confidence. I assigned them

homework the day before and they kept bringing it up.

"Shelby ma'am! check our homework!"

"Okay, one moment!"

"Can you check it now please?"

"I will after this lesson is over, I promise."

After one more enthusiastic request I agree to check it.I scan the sentences and my heart stops as I read "My new teacher is so white and beautiful."

It all makes sense. After all, when is a kid ever eager to have the teacher check their homework?! haha. I look up with a grin and I see three little browned faces smiling back at me. A group hug transpires and I can feel them starting to become comfortable with me. Oh, my what a fantastic feeling. After the lesson we had some time to kill so they asked us a series of questions. Their intrigued mines ask "How old is your mom? What does your brother look like? Do you like college? How many friends do you have?" to put faces to names, we pulled out our phones and scanned through pictures of friends and family. They looooved seeing photos of mount rainier and sunsets. They gasped at the beaches and trees. The group giggled as I showed them a photo of Gunnar with his hair spiked up and they chimed in "heeheheh, Gunnar is SO silly". I did not disagree. The boys said my mom looks young and pretty. Curious and innocent minds. The sweetest.

Our goodbyes consisted of hugs and promises of candy for the next day of class.

Time to catch our first rickshaw! Just like a taxi- you wave your hand and hope they pull over. Annie did the bartering (naturally). We hoped in and he sped off at an incredible pace. As mentioned before, the driving is ridiculous. We landed maybe 5 inches away from a truck that blatantly said "KEEP DISTANCE". Yup. No distance at all. After 30 minutes on the bumpy roads and winding through neighborhoods we made it to our destination. Initially we panicked. We looked to the left and saw tin and canopy houses and half naked children playing in dirt.. Where the heck are we?! Then we slowly glanced to our right. A huge mall graced the landscape. Ahhh, we made it. The purpose for our trip was to get a hamburger.I know you're laughing.... But in all seriousness- the ONLY place that has steak in Delhi is at the Hard Rock Cafe. Annie was needing some beef, and our new friends Chloe & Laurie said they would happily join us for a meal out on the town.

We trekked to the mall and a fresh cloud of cold air hit us as the automatic doors opened before us. Gucci, Starbucks, Chanel, Forever 21, Victorias secret stood in front of our feet. A shameful smile came over our faces. For the first time in a few days I felt completely comfortable and safe. I did not have to watch my back or worry about someone chasing me down and bartering with me. This is what I know. I know "wealth", I know nice things. Rubbish. I wanted to hit myself again. I almost felt sick while smiling in this glass building while across the street homeless people begged for a few rupees. What a world we live in... Even if you look around in your hometown- Seattle, L.A, even Olympia- this hold true. Not just india, even if it may be "the worst of the worst"

To the Hard Rock Cafe we go! I ordered a salad and a drink, and Annie ordered a juicy burger, as well as Laurie and Chloe. We laughed at the fact that 5 indian waiters stood 5 feet behind our booth during the duration of our meal. They were in awe of 4(!!!!) white women together. A special sight, I suppose.

With full bellies, we piled into a rickshaw. This was rough, and frightening as it was night time. Little children and old men come up and tug on your clothes and ask for rupees. The hardest thing to do is to look away and say no, but it is necessary at times. Our ride consisted of the inevitable honking and swerving. We sped past a coffee shop "T'pot: fresh cup of conversation" Well, I doubt the conversation would go anywhere since I don't speak Hindi... More like a fresh cup of struggle, and we have had about 8 of those recently.

I look at my watch- 9:30. Time for bed. I collapse in my bed and think about being joyfully content in every circumstance- even when I am struggling to show grace to my students, and when the food I ate for breakfast makes me ill. What does contentment mean to you?

With chalk covered hands, I close my eyes and drift to sleep. What a day. What a rewarding and precious day.

Namaste

Xo